Madness

I     didn't know that depression can cause one so unfortunate, uncomfortable and indescribable. Sometimes life was given, but we can never predict how hard it's gonna be with ones. To be honest, neither do I know how my freaking life is gonna be, in the present, in the future. I wish there is someone who is there to tell me what should i do for the next steps of my life, but there isn't. So what I do? What I do is to keep my life alive in every single minutes, confronting it all by myself, not wanting anybody to know which boundaries that could hardly step through. Alongside, books, writing, sleeping, counting, predicting...dictions, words, journey.....were the ones who accompanied me. Those that can never betrayed me, establish hatred towards me, and ...

Couldn't have anybody, one in a lifetime, a living things that can always respect me, loves me like how I did? Yes, truly, i found one. My dear, Cash.. 

It would be stupid for others that a human talks to an animal. But it isn't for me, in necessary or unnecessary timing, she is always there for me. She listens, she loves, she console, she comfort me... who the hell who ever knows that she understand. Does that matter? No, it don't. But i guess the message that are for her, is conveyed. Who the hell cares about how people thinks? Who the hell.. Tell me. 

Madness burst up my mind. The agony of madness. The occurrences of betrayal happens one after another. Nobody ever wants to hate somebody or anybody, but it's uncontrollable. Fxxk that, human...human are always the one betrayed you. I remembered now, life is alone. Yeah, true, we have family, friends and lovers. Who knows when will they betrayed you, and you want them to begone in your entire life. What should you do? Trust yourself. Love yourself. Be with     YOURSELF. 

   Somehow, it's rude. But i apologized for the rudeness and reckless of mine. It's all about madness, Remember?